Let’s say you take a shower and, because you care about your hair even though it’s never particularly cared about you, post-shampoo conditioning occurs. It’s a rare thing, this conditioning step. You generally don’t do it, but recently figured, ‘Huh’, and started engaging in such frivolity because variety is the spice of life and a stitch in time saves nine and you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make a silk purse out of its ear and so on. So, you find yourself in the shower thinking about science or cupcakes or monkeys in lab coats throwing cupcakes at people, as they do. Some of your most profound ideas make themselves known in the shower, so it’s no surprise that the hamster’s running with a particular vigor this morning, nor should it matter because paying attention in the shower is unnecessary at your advanced age. You’ve done it before, is what I’m saying. No surprises.
Now let’s say that later on, post-shower, you’re pouring yourself another cup of sweet, life-giving coffee and you just happen to glance at your reflection in the cabinet door’s glass and you notice that your hair looks a little greasy. Taking into account that this isn’t the 50s and that you aren’t The Fonz or Dobie Gillis (aside from being a greasy-headed voyeur, his show was also sponsored by the silhouettes of two grownups making out in front of their child while a disembodied voice spoke about the virtues of cake….it was a different time), you begin to actively retrace that morning’s activity. Woke up. Gym. Run. Dog walking. Shower. Then maybe this last one causes an invisible cartoon light bulb to flicker above your head, followed by a series of events: Curse openly, strip, engage shower, rinse rinse rinse, dry dry dry, re-clothe, finish pouring coffee in annoyed disgust at carelessness while considering that perhaps Alzheimer’s research would be a more appropriate calling.
Has that ever happened to you? Yeah, me neither.
Sir @ May 5, 2010