Letter to Santa
Dear Satan Santa
I’m heading up to Ohio this year for Christmas. I have nothing against Ohio as a land mass, except for the fact that the landscape where I grew up looks like the place where dreams go to die. Other than that, I guess Ohio never poisoned anyone or set any nuns on fire or anything. Still, if you have any pull with Mother Nature, could you ask that the weather stay marginally unsucky for the next few days? Because if I get stuck in Ohio for an extended period of time, I’m going to fling myself into traffic and I don’t think Mother Nature wants that on her conscience.
Hugs!
Sir
Sir @ December 23, 2009
If I read The Collective story correctly, Santa doesn’t so much have pull with Mother Nature, being a hostage of hers and all. But I really hope you don’t get stuck in Ohio if you don’t want to… although if I got stuck in Ohio, I’d look up Jennie and Joe and bask in the puke on their keyboards or whatever.
Also? Safe travels and Merry Christmas!
There is a lot of Ohio to get stuck in that is not so bad. So the river caught on fire in the 70′s in Cleveland. It is a nice city now. Well most of it anyway. Toledo, not so much. Akron, definitely not. Good luck with your travels.
Plus, I’m in Ohio, so it can’t be all bad. Zing!
Good luck with appealing to Mother Nature’s conscience in re: midwestern weather.
You would have had better luck if you’d addressed that letter to Satan.